Hurrah. Winter is over, and now we can look forward to the promise of spring, with its green shoots and gambolling lambs, and then we are into the long, languid days of summer, with its blue skies and barbecues.
Just be careful with those barbecues. Think of the fire risk. And the food poisoning from uncooked meat. And, actually, hay fever can be a problem. And wasps. With this drought, gardens won't do well. The green shoots will be brown. And those lambs? They'll probably die of thirst.
Sorry, but it's going to be an awful spring/summer, you might as well realise. There is but one solution. Stay inside, draw the curtains, pour yourself something cool, take your underpants out of the freezer and pop them on, and enjoy the chilled-out embrace of the coolest channel around.
(That's Channel 4 by the way, in case you were confused).
We've got a range of shows so effortlessly brilliant (actually, quite a lot of effort has gone into them, but they are brilliant) that you'll be aching for more.
We've finally sent Gordon Ramsay to prison in Gordon Behind Bars, in which the chef tries to start a baking business in HMP Brixton. That sense of menace, that bad language, the fear - you have to hope the prisoners will be okay.
Coup is Channel 4 drama at its finest. Boasting an all-star cast led by the incomparable Gabriel Byrne, and including Douglas Hodge, Gina McKee, Charles Dance, Rupert Graves and Ruth Negga, the four-part thriller is written by Robert Jones (Lennon Naked) and directed by Ed Fraiman (The Philanthropist), inspired by Chris Mullin's novel A Very British Coup.
And the summer will end with a massive bang on Channel 4 when the London 2012 Paralympic Games hit our screens. Channel 4 will clear its schedules across the network for the eleven days of the Games to commit more than 150 hours of coverage. It will be the biggest broadcasting event in Channel 4's 30-year history and the most extensive UK coverage that has ever been dedicated to the Paralympic Games.
We could go on, but to be honest, it would start to sound a little like bragging. And we're nothing if not modest. Instead, take a look at our spring/summer pack and start planning for a summer spent on the sofa, away from all that fresh air and associated dangers. It's a jungle out there. Let us look after you. Shhh. Hush now... There, that's better, isn't it?
PLEASE NOTE: Like those surviving spring lambs, the pack will be fattened up over the next few months, though we will be feeding it new programmes rather than lush, green grass. We will keep you updated as to these additions, but you may want to check back again soon anyway, to enjoy the pack before we celebrate the end of the summer by killing it and eating it with mint sauce.